


Can't Go Back

by shinee5



Category: SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, M/M, and i guess the threat is kinda similar to the aliens in the host, i may or may not have written this after watching the host, so imagine this takes place in the kind of desert from the host, they're hiding from an unknown threat, this is kind of dystopian, tw: panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 07:24:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12700158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinee5/pseuds/shinee5
Summary: “Jonghyun”, he responds desperately. “I can’t find my ring anymore.”- in which Jonghyun and Taemin are on the run(warning: panic attack)





	Can't Go Back

**Author's Note:**

> this was first published a few years ago here: http://asongofaceanddanger.tumblr.com/post/109116299015/cant-go-back-jongtae-pg-13-dystopian-au
> 
> I'm just reposting some old fics to ao3!  
> (please keep in mind that it was only my second shinee fic and I am not a native English speaker)

The sun has just started to rise when the alarm goes off.  
Jonghyun has built it himself and installed it a few weeks ago, and now that it rings in his ears, adrenaline kicking in, he knows fully well what it means.

Something is coming, and it can't be anything good.

Hastily, he slips into his jacket and shakes the slim figure that lies next to him.  
"Taemin, hurry up, we've got to go", he whispers and his boyfriend looks up to him with sleepy eyes, confused at Jonghyun's hounded voice.  
Then he recognizes the sound of the alarm and jumps on his feet, suddenly wide awake.

Jonghyun grabs his emergency backpack as Taemin reaches for his own and the both of them scramble into the old, rusty car that's parked on the side in the small wooden shelter they've built for themselves.

"How far away are they?", the younger asks from the back while Jonghyun starts the car and checks the coordinates the radar is giving him. 

"Half an hour until they get here", he answers, speeding out of the shelter and right in the opposite direction of their chasers.

As they race down the dusty hills into an even more deserted area, Taemin shuffles around in his seat. It seems like he's searching for something, although Jonghyun can't really tell since he has to stay focused on driving.

It's only as Taemin makes a noise that sounds as if he's on the verge of tears that Jonghyun glances back to see the boy rummaging around in his backpack with an anxious expression.

"What's the matter?", he asks, feeling more and more uneasy with every second he's watching his boyfriend's hectic movements.

"Jonghyun", he responds desperately. "I can't find my ring anymore."

This can't be possible, Jonghyun thinks. Taemin always wears his rosary ring and never takes it off, how could he lose it?

"It has to be somewhere in here", he says. "Don't worry."

But Taemin worries, of course he does, he reaches under the seats and searches in the passenger seat and in the trunk, and still his ring is nowhere to be found.  
He's shaking now, his eyes blinking rapidly, he can't stop, won't stop, his breaths getting shorter and shorter, only interrupted by choked sobs that escape his mouth.

"Taemin, please, breathe", Jonghyun cries out, still concentrating on getting as far away from their chasers as he can. "Come on, count with me and breathe slowly, it'll be over soon, Taemin, please, ..."  
"It won't be over", the boy sobs, his breaths getting even more rapid. "It's gone, it's completely gone, I lost it, how could I just lose it, this shouldn't have happened, why did all of this happen, how am I gonna survive without it, how am I gonna remember them without it, tell me how, Jonghyun, how?", he gasps and now he's crying hard, tears making their way down his face.

Jonghyun wants to help so much it hurts, wants to stop the car and climb into the backseat to calm Taemin down, but all he can do is drive across the desert and somehow find them another place to live in. 

"You won't forget them, Taemin", he answers reassuringly . "You don't need a ring to remember your family, we both know that."

But they both also know how important this little ring is to Taemin, how it has helped him with his nightmares, how he has held onto this last connection between him and his family, how it has kept his hopes up to ever see them again.  
This isn't just an accessory that's lost, this is another reminder that they can't do anything to protect what's precious to them.

When Taemin speaks up the next time his voice is begging. "We have to go back."

Jonghyun doesn't answer, doesn't stop the car.

"Do you hear me, Jonghyun? You need to drive back, please, I ... I don't even care anymore if they're going to catch us." 

"I care", Jonghyun says quietly. "And we can't go back. We can never go back."

Then he races down another sand hill, away from where the ring must be lying somewhere and away from the danger.  
If he can't protect his family, he wants to save the man he loves at least


End file.
